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Read at the First SAARC
conference on Folklore in Dehli, 2007
Women in folklore is an area of study that has been well
documented. In the developing countries however this
sub-field has been more commonly studied from a descriptive
point of view rather than an analytical point of view. My
paper here is a humble attempt to do a general analysis of
women’s position in the folklore of SAARC region with a
simple framework. My information draws on my personal
observation and experience of research over the last two
decades, interviews with women from most of the SAARC
countries for this paper and a quick review of the materials
available. Though most of my own research is on women in
folklore, it has focused on women in theatre and other
entertainment roles, women and shrines and women and
crafts, this paper looks at the overall positioning of
women in the folklore. My framework looks at three
significant aspects:
The first one is the commonly held notion that women are the
keepers of the tradition. In the folklore of the SAARC
region women commonly are held responsible for family
related religious rituals, rites of passage especially birth
and marriage and other rituals related to celebrations,
maintaining family relationships and social linkages. They
are not only considered the hub for ensuring that tradition
and rituals are followed but also are designated with the
role of passing them on to the next generation.
The second element of the framework is to look at the
folklore around women and analyze how it facilitates women’s
emancipation in the society. Folklore over the centuries has
developed spaces for women, which can prove to be helpful
and supportive for them. May these be in the form of
rituals, folk practices or customs. In addition folklore
also provides role models or icons that gives women space of
acceptance for deviation or simply examples of empowered
acts.
The third aspect will analyze the folklore, which hampers
women’s emancipation and becomes an impediment to their
rights as a human being. Here I will also look at the role,
at times folklore plays to reinforce the status quo from the
point of view of the elite in a society and becomes a tool
of oppression itself.
I will use examples from different SAARC countries to look
at these aspects and will draw conclusions at the end.
Who we have to visit because their mother in law died last
month or who do we have to pay a visit because their son
passed their civil service exams, or buying of gifts for our
cousin’s wedding; all this is usually reminded by wives to
their husbands. They keep a tab on who is born and who died
in the family. They are usually responsible for making sure
that the religious rituals like puja at certain occasions,
khatm-e- quran or milad is organized to thank god. They
ensure that all rituals and customs are followed in every
step of the wedding.
In cultures of South Asia women are the ones who keep the
tradition alive by continuing to wear traditional clothes.
Men in all the SAARC countries are quick to switch their
clothing and mannerism to western styles but social pressure
does not allow women to do the same. She is the keeper of
the tradition. The society gives her the role to pass on the
tradition to the next generation through her children.
In Afghanistan women are not just seen as keepers and
embodiment of the tradition but also embodiment of the
honour. Which in turn is reflected in many customs,
reinforced by traditional phrases, songs and stories. Men
can leave their turbans behind, their heavy chappals can be
replaced but it doesn’t shake the honour of the family or
tribe. Women however have the burden of the upkeep of the
tradition, where if they leave their homes, go out and work
for money, seen in public (mostly in rural areas) or bring
any change in their traditional clothing are not tolerated.
Not only do they violate their role as the tradition keepers
and therefore seriously threaten the whole traditional
culture but the fact that it is intertwined with honour
gives the society a legitimate reason to reprimand them. I
will discuss these forms of reprimand, which are part of the
folklore and are socially widely accepted, in the next
section.
Being a good woman is also an interlinked phenomenon of
tradition keepers. It is the women who are given the moral
burden of being good by showing compliance to the customs
and tradition. Thus if Afghan women are good they have to
keep themselves form the public eye because that is what
good women do. Any one who is seen in public and especially
talking to a being of the opposite gender risks being bad
and thus in violation of her role of tradition keeper. These
norms are not as strict when we talk about urban areas, in
this case Kabul but the spirit of it is very similar.
Mothers specifically are given the role of raising brave
sons and obedient daughters. If that is not so the mothers
are blamed for it. Fathers barely get the blame of children
who do not comply to the tradition.
In Pakistan when a man wears blue jeans he is considered
“cool”, educated and urban based but when a woman is seen in
blue jeans she is usually considered western/modern, too out
going, and mostly immoral. Partially it is the social
pressure on women not to deviate from the tradition and
partially it is the fear of the society that women might
make an attempt to change the status quo. In both cases
women are considered to be the hub for folklore, tradition
and custom.
Upon analysis of women in folklore in South Asian cultures
it is observed that there are several elements of our
folklore that are helpful to women in terms of finding their
strength.
In Pakistan, mostly in area of Punjab water wells are an
important part of the folklore. Women get together to fetch
water as a routine activity. This for them becomes, at
times, a highlight of their day; A genuine excuse for going
out of the house and an opportunity to see and share stories
with their friends. There are many songs and folktales that
have developed around the water wells. In Nepal also water
wells provide a place for women to share their happiness and
sorrows.
In Afghanistan women have spaces that they utilize for
themselves in a positive manner. Here also the most common
are gatherings around the wells. Since water collection is
typically women’s role in many parts of Afghanistan’s rural
society, women use that platform for networking and getting
support from each other. Similarly springs are also used for
the same purpose.
Wedding parties are another significant part of the
traditional culture where folklore plays its role. People’s
lives may deviate from the traditional culture gradually but
rites of passage are where they come back to the traditional
ways of doing things. Because many activities that are in
routine can be seen as inappropriate are considered quite
appropriate at the wedding ceremonies, and women make use of
it. This includes dressing up, singing, dancing and
especially intimate mix gatherings of relatives. Women are
fully allowed to dress up, sing , dance and in many case mix
with men of their family. In Afghanistan, Pakistan,
Bangladesh and Nepal this pattern is quite vivid. Many
segments of the society are trying to influence it with the
currently dominant norms of “religiosity” but for most part
of the countries it remains a space where women do come out
and participate in full and enjoy music and dancing which
they normally don’t.
In Afghanistan festivals like Eid-e-Nauruz remains an
important part for women where they get together with other
families and spend time. They do collective cooking which
gives them time to interact and support each other. Samanak
is a dish that is cooked over night and women interviewed
stated that they like being together with other women and
sharing their happiness and sorrows all night. It is also a
time when women go to the shrines and to graveyards to pay
respects to their loved ones. In reality it is time that
they have for themselves. Sabzi Laghat (literal translation
touching the grass) is a part of this celebration where
families go out of picnic to beautiful gardens.
Getting the social acceptance of possession by spirits or
gin, has also served women well. The folklore around women
being possessed gives the opportunity for women to let go of
facades of appropriate behaviors and express their social
problems and despair in a socially acceptable manner. This
is not just true in Afghanistan but Pakistan, India and
Bangladesh also. It is a common practice in some rural areas
of almost all the SAARC countries. Though there are problems
associated with how these women get their treatment, at
least it gives them some path for expressing their anger and
despair.
Getting into trance at the shrines is also similar in
nature, which is accepted way for both men and women to deal
with their despair. For women it serves more as they hardly
have space to let go of their acts and dance or go “crazy”
in public to follow their feeling and hearts.
Visiting of shrines for praying and making their wishes is
considered a spiritual experience where women get to leave
home, travel with family or other women and be with women at
the shirne itself. They are able to articulate their desires
and wishes. At various annual festivals of these shrines,
the urs many have one day specifically dedicated to women
which gives them the freedom to enjoy themselves without the
fear for harassment. This exists all over the South Asia
with some shrines more popular for women than others.
In Punjab, which is now in India and Pakistan both, there
was a custom called trinjan where young girls were allowed
to bring their spinning wheels together and would spin all
day in one place. This gave them a place to connect, share
and build solidarity.
In Afghanistan older women are allowed to be generous and
serve the travelers with food and hospitality. This is not
seen as being bad or immoral but according to the folklore
is accepted, supported and appreciated. This also provides
older women an opportunity to do service for their larger
society and also be appreciated publicly.
About 50 years ago there was a pukhtoon tradition in the
area of Zhob and surrounding area which allowed young men
and women to dance together. It was called Kamar Yami and a
similar tradition in Nangahar of Afghanistan was called Brug
Attan. It means mixed colours. After that a young man could
go to a young woman’s house and could seek permission to
meet her. He would call her out for poetry, tappa or Lundi
and the parents encouraged the girls to go. They would meet
in public and the tradition was called naarey. This took a
form of courting.
Just the act of dancing and singing together for women has
been and continues to be an empowering act, where they are
allowed to get in touch with their creative and aesthetic
expression.
In Bhutan the elements of matriarchal system provide an
array of folklore that supports women’s emancipation. The
tradition of passing on property to women in the Eastern
side of Bhutan helps women get the stability and a certain
status in the family. Women there are considered to be more
important and that reflects in the folklore also.
There have been women heroes in the folklore or icons who
have excelled, broken the rules and got admiration. These
women were either real and took a special role in our
folklore or were imaginary. In Punjab, both in Pakistan and
India, Heer from the folk epic of Heer Ranjha provides a
strong role model for women. She was courageous, openly
expressed her self and fought for what she wanted. Zarghuna
Ana mother of Ahmad Shah and Malalai of Maiwand in
Afghanistan have legendary place in their folklore. Whese
women are the icons for wise vision, bravery and courage.
It is an interesting notion that at times folklore that is
romanticize, impinges on the rights of vulnerable segments
of the society and is totally used by the elite to reinforce
the power status que. This includes folk poetry which
strengthens social hierarchy. Showing that there are lower
zaats ethnic groups, and higher ethnicities by birth; Songs,
phrases, that put them down whenever the elite feel that
they are stepping out of line and customs that “put them in
their place”.
Similarly for women there are phrases that are considered
folk wisdom, but are efforts to “putting them in their
place” or ensuring that if they deviated the path defined by
the tradition and custom they will be humiliated, put down
or reprimanded.
Egs from other countries
aurat paon ki juti he a woman is the shoe you wear in your
feet
aurat ki aqal tukhnon men he a woman’s brains are in her
ankles.
Da khuzu ze p kor ke de ya gor ke de” A woman’s place is
either her home or her grave. This is to ensure she is not
seen in public space.
In Nepal it is common to say
A woman belongs to another household. There are two aspects
in this phrase. One that a woman has no identity of her own
and it fully supports the patriarchy and the second that the
word for a woman actually means wife person, which describes
a woman only in a relationship.
Using women as a swear word is also found in our folklore
where phrases put down men comparing them to a woman. He
talks like a woman, he is a coward like a woman, he talks
too much like a woman, he is indecisive like a woman, etc.
In Pakistan and India it is said”
Kia aurton ki tarah churian pehen li hen ( why are you
wearing bangles like a woman, meaning why have you become as
coward as a woman)
In a similar context in Nepal they say
lagau mard hai na.
There are other traditions that either are to keep women in
their socially sanctioned secondary position or these
traditions are abused to accomplish that purpose. A
tradition in Bhutan which was initially for both men and
women to court, gradually turned not so favourable for
women.
A Bhutanese tradition, which is night out for boys and
girls. This is a socially sanctioned night out for the young
men, where they can go and court any woman they like. The
families of the young women accept it and if the couple is
very sure about a long term commitment in the form of
marriage, the young man stays until the morning. When seen
in the morning the family approves their marriage. If he is
not interested or the woman doesn’t want him he leaves while
it is still dark. The tradition initially was seen as an
opportunity for both, where virginity was not a high premium
and sexual morality didn’t have a heavy stigma. But
gradually this tradition has hampered women more than
helping them. It has resulted in pregnancies that women are
left with and has inclination of abuse by the men.
In Nepal a young girl is chosen as a deity and is pampered
in everyway and is treated like royalty. She embodies a
living goddess and is worshiped by all. Once she reaches
puberty she looses all that status and is asked to leave the
temple. From there on she lives a life of a woman who has a
very low status in the society and no one even marries her.
In Pakistan the tradition of honour killing takes the shape
of karo kari or siah kari (black deed) where any man and
woman suspected of adultery are killed with the sanction of
the custom which gives the power to the elite to take life
to save “honour”. This tradition while more
institutionalized in Baluchistan and Sarhad tribal areas, is
also equally pervasive in south Punjab and interior Sindh.
The local panchayat or jirga, the local elites in any rural
area take a decision on the basis of tradition. Marityudand
and other forms of honour killing in India, Bangladesh and
Afghanistan are very similar in dynamics. Though the custom
is to punish both men and women, it is usually women who
are sacrificed. Mostly this custom is abused where a brother
kills a man because of a family feud, comes home and shoots
his sister to make it look like an honour killing, thus
getting the sympathies socially and legally. The custom
sanctions death of women and inculcates a fear of being
labeled as kari, which hampers their mobility; who they
meet, how they behave and when and to whom they talk to.
In Afghanistan the custom of Sawara allowed families to
settle their feuds, based on murder or other conflicts, by
giving away their women for conflict resolution to the other
party. In pushto speaking culture of Afghanistan and
Pakistan it is called sawara and in Farsi speaking cultures
of Afghanistan it is called Baad.
The tradition of wata sata in Punjab and other areas of
North India and Pakistan allows two families to give and
receive a girl in marriage at the same time. So two brothers
exchange their sisters for marriage. This in past was meant
to reduce the burden of bride wealth or expenses of dowery.
It was also considered a way of keeping control over the
other family not to mistreat their daughter as the other
family’s daughter was with them. But over the years it has
become quite an abusive custom for both women and men.
In Afghanistan the same tradition is called Mukhi. It has
exactly the same dynamics.
In most of the countries polygamy is a tradition that has
made women suffer but in northern part of Nepal it is
polyandry that becomes difficult to handle for women. This
tradition gets a woman to marry three or four brothers
together. This is done to keep the family together. It also
keeps the property together for all the children. This
situation is not comparable to polygamy as it is not a
woman’s choice to pick out three or four different men but
she is bound to marry all the brothers. This tradition at
one point was also there in the east Punjab. It has more
repercussions for women than advantages. In many cases the
woman is beaten up by more than one husband. There are
jalousies and complains that she favours one over the other.
In most of the South Asian countries the stigma on a
divorced woman is strong. In the urban areas customs have
changed but in rural areas it is not easy for a divorced
woman to be remarried. This is common tradition in India,
Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Sri Lanka. In Pakistan
and North India a divorcee woman is excluded from different
folk rituals that are practiced with the bride and the
groom; Putting hina on their hand, putting oil in their
hair, giving sweets to the married couple etc. is all
forbidden for these women to avoid any bad omen on the newly
married couple. However, in the traditional culture of
Maldives and parts of Bhutan being a divorcee is not seen as
a problem at all.
Similarly, when a woman’s husband dies in Punjab she is
forced to break all her bangles. Thereafter, she is not
allowed to put on makeup and is pressured to stay in very
simple clothes throughout her life. In India also, in rural
areas, a window woman is not allowed to dress up at any time
after she becomes a widow. Remarriage is also an uncommon
phenomenon. In Afghanistan she is not supposed to move out
of the house and is expected to stay out of the public gaze.
In Nepal she is never allowed to wear red or bright colours
through out her life and is supposed to wear white all the
time. She is not allowed to leave the house for one year.
That particular restriction applys to men in a similar
situation also but their deviance is more easily accepted
than women’s. Widows are not allowed to take part in puja,
festivals or any family gathering like a wedding or other
celebrations.
Puberty for women in many cultures is an embarrassment and
not a celebration. In Nepal in some rural areas, when a
young women has her first period she is sent into seclusion
for 12 days. She cannot see the daylight or any man. She is
not allowed to eat with her family or touch other’s food.
Judho is the term used. Porasoreko (far to move )
implys, she should move far away from food. She cannot be a
part of the puja or any festival. After 12 days she is
brought out and all the things she had touched get washed.
This is also called gufa rukhni. At times if the family is
busy and do not want to wait for the first period of the
young girl, they go ahead and do the seclusion for 12 days
as a ritual and when it really happens they do not think
they have to do it as they had already fulfilled the
obligation. Thereafter every time she has her period she
goes into seclusion for 4 days.
Similarly in other cultures of the SAARC region there is
some stigma attached to women because of their periods. Just
to clarify the concept of purity and impurity is not about
cleanliness and dirtiness but it has directly to do with the
stigma attached to something. Women are considered impure in
several circumstances only because their period is
considered impure. They are not allowed to say prayers,
fast, recite the holy text, go to the graves, etc. In many
shrines in Pakistan and India there is a sign that prohibits
women to go in the inner pulpit of the shrine, where the
grave of the saint is.
When a woman delivers a baby she is kept indoors for 40
days. In Punjab it is called chila. A woman is considered
impure in these days. In Nepal, in some rural areas, women
are banished to the cow shed to spend her 40 days. A high
number of infant mortality results because of this
practice.
In conclusion we see that folklore and traditional customs
in the past and the present do give an important role to
women as repositories of tradition. However upon analysis we
find out that folkloric traditions do have a more positive
affect on woman’s lives and can also have restrictive and
damaging effect on them. With time the role of woman has
changed. The urban and metropolitan areas have broken the
traditions in many ways and have created new ones. Many
break the tradition and continuously suffer from the social
pressure and stigma. All this points out to the fact that
folklore is not written in stone.
Folklore is what people collectively develop for themselves
and like any aspect of a culture, this also changes with
time and with the changing needs of people.
Our politics, technology and issues of urban life have all
entered the folk poetry and folk songs. Our folklore is
bound to be changed with time. So why not analyze it and
just like any other change we leave out or discourage the
traditions that sanction murders and put down certain groups
in the society and encourage those that promote ethnical and
gender harmony. We as people are legitimate users and makers
of the folklore. An impression that folklore is a sacred cow
and should not be touched but only be documented, studied
and revived as is does not help women. On the other hand
having a vision of folklore which is romanticized versions
of old days when people use to sit under the tree while
animals grazed and someone played the flute is not very
helpful.
The folklore of any country or region has to be pruned and
transformed by its people. It has to be done with full
ownership and a commitment for our fellow beings to enjoy
the basic human rights and dignity. I will end with a small
example, in United states children had been playing and
singing this poem for decades.
Ini mini mina mo
catch a niger by its toe,
if he screams let him go
ini mini mina mo
Niger you know is a derogatory word for a black person. For
years it was sung by children but when the awareness of what
it actually implies became vivid it was quietly changed to
catch a tiger by its toe. So the current generation of
children do not even know that there was the word niger in
there poem.
Grooming and cleaning out of the folklore is the collective
responsibility of the society and we should not shy away
from it. It is time that we do take out sanctioning murder
of women from our customs and stop using a woman’s name as a
swearword in our folklore. We have ample folkloric customs,
poetry, songs and rituals that encourage harmony, equality
and dignity for all. We should happily revive those and be
proud of it.
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